Procrastination and Thoughts of Selfishness

written by Ava Emasova aka faerielover

So, apparently, long time no Gigantic Revelations. Not even the tiny ones. 

I've had my ups and downs in moods and decisiveness, and I guess that is normal. Even if it's not, no point in dwelling in the past. Best to focus to the present with a hope for the future, right? Or everything will just keep going to waste. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day. 

I did get some work done for my book. Created a bunch of characters who are pretty clear in my mind now, and I'm extremely happy with them. Wrote the beginning of the book too. Finally. So, that's one of the good things. I'm also happy with the decision to write in my native language, because even though I love English, I still don't feel nearly confident enough to write a whole book in it. Poems or short stories -- maybe. Anything more serious -- not really.

I've been thinking and talking a lot about the selfishness of people nowadays. It makes me incredibly sad. When it comes down to the core, even in the smallest little things, when the choice is given to them:: do something nice for a friend {which will cause you minimal trouble} vs. do nothing cause you can't be bothered, a great and disappointing number of people will choose the latter. Worse than that. Some won't even stop for a minute with obsessing about their own needs and wants to think of somebody else's. It has become so rare that I might just faint if I meet a single considerate person. Sure, I'm lucky enough to have quite a few of wonderful, generous people in my true friends circle. But the general state of my country, of the world, just worries and saddens me. Even watching new, young parents with their kids. And what they teach them. It's an animal city so eat or be eaten, right? And in the struggle to teach them survival, they forget to mention that kindness and empathy and plain goodness would make a better future world. And how easy and wrong it is to destruct. How difficult and amazing and fun to create!

Time races as usual. This tree was once huge and leafy, with so many branches it was a proper mansion for us climbers. We had entire rooms in it, each child his or her own place to sit, we even had spare ones to serve as a living room or a kitchen. We would "sleep" in them, and "eat", and talk to each other about what we were going to do when we went out in the world... Now this is all that is left of it. This poor mangled creature, standing alone there in the middle of the walk, abandoned by all. Why did they cut it so? I will never know. Or understand. It's not even that tall, if they feared that some kid would fall down and get injured. Kids are more into video games than climbing trees these days, anyway. Kindness! Where is the kindness for the living thing? 

Over and out.

xoxo