Lazy, nerdy rambling

written by Ava Emasova aka faerielover

Hi, Interwebs! Long time no see. Oh, who am I kidding? Every day too much see. Yup.
Need to lay off a little {read this:: a lot}. Or at least do something useful here. Like, learn about web design or something. But what do I do? I flail about fictional characters. I flail about upcoming movies and new episodes of TV shows. I flail about Keira Knightley's dresses and her perfect face and her perfect acting. I flail about Tom Sturridge having to get a role of William Herondale. I flail about Will Herondale and worry about his fictional fate in advance. And Tessa's. I fall in love with Peeta Mellark all over again and flail about how incredibly good and kind and smart and wonderful he is. And I want to cry because he doesn't exist. Neither does Mr. Darcy. How cruel is that? I flail about everything. 

Need to study more. But noooo. Why? Because I'm an addict. I am addicted to fun. And if something's no fun, I won't do it. Won't even look at it. They say the first step towards getting better is admitting you have a problem, right? Riiiiight? Well, here it is. I have a problem. My problem is that economics is boring and that I want to be everything, and I want to be all this at once. Now, where's my cure? And where's my perfect boy? And where's my perfect job and my perfect life? 

I like to make jewelry. Jewelry is fun. And allows you to be creative, allows you to play. Yay! But can one live of this? That is the question. One has to be smart about it, if one wants to make a business. And here it is again -- business! No running away from it. Just follows me everywhere. Gave me quite a scare one time I didn't see it lurking behind a nook. 

Speaking of nook, what's with captain Hook *SPOILERS for OUaT following to the end of this paragraph* getting all evil all over again on Once Upon a Time? Please, we had enough of this. How can we ship Emma with anyone if you insist on ruining him even before the shipping's properly begun? And there I go again!

I feel like I live in a completely different world, out of this reality. It's like I ran, I ran so far away, 

to hide from all the things I didn't like and now I'm trapped, and can't go back. Sort of like Will Donner in Waiting for Forever. I choose to not acknowledge the bad things. But what good can that be?

And so on I could ramble. But I won't. Cause I'm bored with this. So I'll be off to write another post. About most beautiful women. Everyone seems to be making these lists. I like lists. In fact, I love lists. So why shouldn't I? I most certainly shall.

O'cake. Goodbye.

xoxo

Bow ties are cool.

written by Ava Emasova aka faerielover

So, if you are a Whovian you know what this title means. I'll be rambling about the Doctor. Eleventh Doctor, to be precise. Yes. I'm a nerd. Sort of.
Am I going to start each post with "so"? Quite possibly. That's not important. This is important::

The Doctor's not the one to miss the obvious thing. And the obvious thing is that bow ties are cool. 

Another obvious thing is that I'll fall in love with each and every reincarnation {Um. Can I call regenerationed Doctor that?} of Doctor that comes along, apparently. There's no helping me. I've seen him dance.

In case you were wondering, this song is here because:: "I waved my hands and flapped about..." I'm pretty sure she's seen Eleven dance, which then inspired this song.

[pic found here:: x]

And here's a little song he could dance to::

The Doctor is magical, wonderful, tragic.

He's scary, amazing, merciful, and wary.

He runs, he solves, he saves, he lies.

He fights, he smiles and rarely cries.

He does all these things with style,

always wearing a cool hat or bow tie.

He loves the universe, but most of all his friends.

He'll give the bad guys a second chance.

But not everyone can be saved,

especially when it's the choice they've made.

So the Doctor bears his weight through space,

carries his guilt in a blue boxed suitcase. 

It travels with him wherever he goes,

Time can be rewritten, but more often it's not.

I think I'll leave it at this. For now. 

xoxo

Procrastination and Thoughts of Selfishness

written by Ava Emasova aka faerielover

So, apparently, long time no Gigantic Revelations. Not even the tiny ones. 

I've had my ups and downs in moods and decisiveness, and I guess that is normal. Even if it's not, no point in dwelling in the past. Best to focus to the present with a hope for the future, right? Or everything will just keep going to waste. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day. 

I did get some work done for my book. Created a bunch of characters who are pretty clear in my mind now, and I'm extremely happy with them. Wrote the beginning of the book too. Finally. So, that's one of the good things. I'm also happy with the decision to write in my native language, because even though I love English, I still don't feel nearly confident enough to write a whole book in it. Poems or short stories -- maybe. Anything more serious -- not really.

I've been thinking and talking a lot about the selfishness of people nowadays. It makes me incredibly sad. When it comes down to the core, even in the smallest little things, when the choice is given to them:: do something nice for a friend {which will cause you minimal trouble} vs. do nothing cause you can't be bothered, a great and disappointing number of people will choose the latter. Worse than that. Some won't even stop for a minute with obsessing about their own needs and wants to think of somebody else's. It has become so rare that I might just faint if I meet a single considerate person. Sure, I'm lucky enough to have quite a few of wonderful, generous people in my true friends circle. But the general state of my country, of the world, just worries and saddens me. Even watching new, young parents with their kids. And what they teach them. It's an animal city so eat or be eaten, right? And in the struggle to teach them survival, they forget to mention that kindness and empathy and plain goodness would make a better future world. And how easy and wrong it is to destruct. How difficult and amazing and fun to create!

Time races as usual. This tree was once huge and leafy, with so many branches it was a proper mansion for us climbers. We had entire rooms in it, each child his or her own place to sit, we even had spare ones to serve as a living room or a kitchen. We would "sleep" in them, and "eat", and talk to each other about what we were going to do when we went out in the world... Now this is all that is left of it. This poor mangled creature, standing alone there in the middle of the walk, abandoned by all. Why did they cut it so? I will never know. Or understand. It's not even that tall, if they feared that some kid would fall down and get injured. Kids are more into video games than climbing trees these days, anyway. Kindness! Where is the kindness for the living thing? 

Over and out.

xoxo

D-day aka Eat My Cake

written by Ava Emasova aka faerielover

I don't even know what date it is. Oh, apparently, according to my computer, it's 28 April 2012. Hello, Time! I didn't see you there, you ran by so quickly.

Aaaanyway. These days I've been discovering some very important truths about myself. Like, for example, how I want to have my cake and eat it too. I get this feeling that life is beautiful and that I can do whatever I want. That kind of hopefulness and euphoria I haven't had in a while. And I decided to go for it. Why keep whining about how out of shape I am, and do nothing about it? Today I went out for a long walk and a run. It was awesome. I also ended up on some swings, enjoying myself immensely. My mp3 was on, of course, and somewhere between my running and quick-walking Lana Del Rey sang in my ears: "Hey, Lolita, hey..." At one point in the song she said -- "I want my cake and I wanna eat it too," and I was like -- she did not just say that, did she? Awesome. And I instantly remembered that gif of Darren Criss saying the same thing. I love those people!

I believe that anything good in life can be accomplished only by first becoming the person that you want to be. Building and perfecting yourself to be that person. I want to be a better person in every possible way. I want to be smarter, to always learn new things. Less judgmental. I want to be open minded. Kind. Fun and relaxed. I want to speak more languages. {Speaking of, I started studying German about a month ago. ^_^} I want to learn how to dance! I want to dance even if I don't know how. And if it takes some work, an actual effort, even better! I don't want to be some lazy loser, just complaining about everything, complaining about the world, while sitting comfortably at home doing nothing to change anything about herself {himself}, let alone the aforementioned world. It's all in the attitude. Instead of the usual: "I want to do this, but I can't," I have a new one -- I CAN DO IT. I'M GONNA DO IT. THANK YOU. BYE.

So, am I a bloody coward? {This is just my inner Ronald Weasley popping up!} Yes? Well then, I'll learn to be brave. Start with small things.

Like bugs. Don't kill bugs or scream when you see one of them. What do you have against them, anyway? {Except that they look kind of ugly.}

Slide down the Cobra pool slide, even though it looks scary when you first climb up. {That turned out to be amazing!}

Don't be so shy. Go to that casting and give it your best shot. Leave your worries behind -- it's supposed to be fun, not scary. And it's not really scary, so why get all flustered about it? {I actually got a small part! :O Yay!}

Jump from a swing. I'm too big to hurt myself that way, anyway. 

Do I want to be a writer? Just start writing and write every day. It's not like you can become a writer any other way. And if it isn't working, or you simply suck, well... at least you tried and that's better than giving up in advance.  

Do I want to make jewelry? Well, search the web for more information, learn what you need to know, find materials that you need, study other people's work. Get started!

I guess what I'm trying to say is -- my new motto is -- JUST DO IT. {Don't whine about it.} And DON'T GIVE UP, NO MATTER WHAT OTHERS SAY, IF IT'S WHAT YOU WANT FOR YOURSELF, WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY. {Unless, of course, hurting other people is what makes you happy, in which case just stop, that's not cool.} And I WANT TO HAVE MY CAKE AND EAT IT TOO.

Goodbye for now.

xoxo